Shrubbery and CLIDE Staff
I know, we’ve been suspiciously silent on the blog for awhile. It’s not for lack of interesting material, we’ve been up to some interesting stuff over here. It’s also not for lack of desire, I read blogs regularly and I admire people who can post (practically) daily updates with beautifully edited photos, witty text and insightful wisdom. It just got lost in the shuffle.
I once heard a interview in which a missionary (Jamie) challenged other missionaries to be careful to not make their lives seem too hard or too awesome. I mean, it’s what we do, isn’t it. We instagram everything because real and true can look boring, mundane. This vintage filter will make my mediocre photo something profound, something dramatic (I tried it on the photo above…apparently vintage doesn’t make everything look cool). That’s the challenge I have here. It’s not that life is so hard and miserable that we can’t bear it OR that everything we do is changing lives and we feel so fulfilled. Sometimes, we’re just living and that doesn’t seem blog-worthy.
So, why the photo, you wonder?
This is a bad photo. It’s blurry, the camera is pointing in the wrong direction and no one seems to realize they’re being immortalized. I think one person in the group is actually smiling.
This photo perfectly captures how I feel. As I was looking through pictures on the camera for inspiration for a blog post I realized that this one was the winner. Do you ever feel like your focus has shifted ever so slightly and now the thing you thought you were focusing on isn’t even in the picture? Sometimes it takes some nudge from the outside to help you realize that you need to shift and refocus.
Also, the self-professed controlist (yeah, it’s a thing) in me looks at this picture and realizes that none of the people are doing what I would expect (or WANT) them to do while posing for a group picture. Working in a new culture constantly reminds me that I am not in control. People, processes, things…everything is different here and (most of the time) it doesn’t go the way I think it should. We’ve been here a year now and God is still gently prying my life plans and expectations (back) from the death-grip that I have been so proudly holding them in. I am not in control. I know you know that, I just needed to say it.
In the end, that crummy pic reminds me that God loves me. He gives the ability to shift and refocus when I’ve focused in the wrong direction and even the tight grip I have on my life, my plans, my future…all of that can be trusted to the One who actually controls those things. It reminds me that I don’t need a vintage filter to make what we are doing in Africa seem more profound because I really just need to be honest and this blog can actually be a platform for that honesty. Even when it’s just a silly picture of shrubbery and CLIDE staff.
P.S. I really wanted to post a beautiful picture of the CLIDE staff at the end of this post but, unfortunately, 15 minutes of “posing” and 30 seconds of “here’s how to take a picture” lessons on the side of the road with our new “photographers” still didn’t equal a usable group picture.
By the way, if you have time listen the Jaime’s complete interview. Listen all the way to the end…it’s 15 minutes well spent. I resonate with everything she says.
Also, our dog is pregnant so pretty soon we’ll have some precious Lolly-pups. I promise you’ll get better pictures of those little fluff balls.
Tags: Rachel Post